'That is a pretty ear-stud that you are wearing' … remarked Jo
who was sitting opposite to me at the dinner table. We were at a business dinner with Joanne who
had come down from New york on a Business trip to India.
'Thank you Jo, it is very old, my grandmother gifted it to me
when I came of age', I said.
Ah... and then that wave of
nostalgia hit me. My memory drifted to
those carefree days when I was a child. Of those childhood days and the summer vacations at the Mylapore
house. Every year after the annual
exams, Appa would see us off at the
railway station and we would set forth on a twenty four hour train journey down
south to Madras.
A post card addressed to one of our uncles would have
reached the Mylapore house a fortnight earlier confirming the train, date and
coach number in which we would arrive. One of our uncles would be there at the
platform waiting to receive us for our summer vacation. An hour long journey on the Pista green Pallavan transport corporation
buses of the Madras of yesteryears was never very tiresome. Yes it was hot, humid and sultry, but never
really tiresome.
With no schools and no homework there was a lot of time to
while away.
Playing ‘house – house’ with cousins and a combined
collection of all our dolls in the store
room, watching the queue at the ‘aavin
milk booth’ opposite to the
house, helping grandpa with the hand
pump to fill the cement tanks and iron buckets with ground water, dodging the house maid kamala when she would come
around to apply sesame oil on our heads and
then give us an oil bath with that coarse shikkakai powder, watering the
terrace upstairs after sunset so that we
could all sleep out in the open terrace when
the cool sea breeze blew over in the night giving us joyous respite from the hot,
humid and sweltering Chennai .. oops
Madras heat were what memories were made of. It was an
yearly routine all through our school years.
We would plead with grandpa and uncles to take us to the
Santhome Beach. The Santhome beach was a 15 minute walk through alley ways from the Mylapore
house. But it was a distance we were prohibited to navigate without Adult
company.
Sometimes grandpa would oblige and take us to the Santhome
beach. But we preferred when Sekhar Chittappa ( younger uncle) who after
coming back from work would take us to the Santhome beach where we would play in the sand and wet
our feet as the waves lashed the sea-shore. The salty air and the cool breeze
that filled the air when we walked back in the orange and blue dusky sky soon after sunset are etched in my memories even after so many years.
Going to the Beach with Sekhar Chittappa was a pleasure, he
would treat us with the thenga- manga
sundal. If this were a recipe in
today’s fine dining restaurant, it would read as spicy-lentils- slow-cooked- in- brine-water-with-a- sprinkling- of- tropical-
coconut- and-slices-of-tangy- raw- Indian-mango.
A paper cone filled with Thenga-mangaa
sundal would cost 50 paisa. 50 paisa for four people was a princely two
rupees which the generous Chittappa would gladly spend. It was an investment he
made to ensure the memories of a carefree and happy summer vacations of our
childhood were etched deeply in our memories.
I am not sure if he ever thought about it that way. But I am ever so grateful for his generosity.
Grandpa was not as generous as Sekhar Chittappa. If anything he was known for his stinginess and
Grandma would forever chide him for that. In the afternoons, when the Rita Ice-cream
push cart would pass through the Mylapore house, we would salivate and watch
him pass by. The push cart fellow would try hard to see if our pester power
would lead to a sales conversion. But then grandpa was made of sterner
stuff. He said he had no money and could
not buy us the kuchchi ice cream. ( a wooden stick covered with pure white
milky Rita Icecream)
It was one of those days that we were trying our luck with
grandpa to coax him into buying us Kuchchi
ice cream and he was not budging.
Grandma had just entered the house , after buying vegetables from the market as she
watched us pleading with grandpa, who was sitting on his rocking arm chair, unperturbed
by our pleading.
She went inside and called out my name. I was irritated, because I was hoping that if
we pestered Grandpa for a few more minutes he would yield. And Grandma shouting out my name summoning me
into the kitchen was irritating to say the least. I must have mumbled something
and went to her. She was in the kitchen opening the Anjarai petti - spice box that she had
pulled out from the top most shelf just below
the attic. On a normal day it was camouflaged
by two jars. One that contained pickles
and the other one that contained rock salt.
And from there came tumbling round aluminium ten paisa coins enough to buy an ice cream each for the three of us.
And from there came tumbling round aluminium ten paisa coins enough to buy an ice cream each for the three of us.
I was delighted , I went out screaming, showing a stinky-eye
and making faces at the stubborn grandpa on the way and down the street to the Rita
Ice-cream push cart vendor and handed over to him the round aluminium coins ,
he counted them and handed me
over three kuchchi ice creams.
I ran back into the house, afraid the ice cream would soon melt
and handed them over to my sister and brother, and the three of us sat down and licked the delicious kuchchi ice cream right under grandpa’s
nose.
He mumbled something incoherent. Perhaps because we were
intoxicated at the delight of eating our ice creams he sounded incoherent . He
was perhaps mumbling that his wife was pampering the brats and he had lost his
ground as the man of the house because she sponsored our ice creams.
Out from the kitchen… pat came the reply.
She said she did not regret sparing some petti ( pun intended) cash for her grandchildren who visited her once a year. Who knows next year she might be dead, or she would perhaps never get the chance, she said in an emotionally choked but loud pitched voice that shot all the way across to the front verandah from the kitchen. That instantly shut up grandpa’s grumbling.
She said she did not regret sparing some petti ( pun intended) cash for her grandchildren who visited her once a year. Who knows next year she might be dead, or she would perhaps never get the chance, she said in an emotionally choked but loud pitched voice that shot all the way across to the front verandah from the kitchen. That instantly shut up grandpa’s grumbling.
Grandma … she was a kickass woman. She did not just buy us our ice creams, she
took us to movies, took us along when she visited relatives, she brought those
atrociously colourful silk pavadais ( full length frocks) and most importantly she had brought me that nice
star shaped ear stud with a shining blue stone in the middle that I was wearing
at the dinner party that night.
Grandma was a
housewife. In her days women worked but
never earned any money for the work that they did. She worked at home and raised her children,
of whom there were many. She would say
she bore nine in all, out of which six survived adulthood. Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa we were fortunate to be surrounded with uncles and aunts and had a lot of
people to visit when we went ‘home’ for summer vacations.
One day I went with Grandma went to visit ‘Korattur Periamma’. She was Grandma’s elder sister. Grandma and
her extended family consisted of many cousins .
They would meet up once a month at her maternal home. This time around she took me along with her
to show off her adolescent granddaughter
to her sisters , her sister-in-law, their daughters,
daughters-in-law and their sisters, and
their mothers, neighbours and who ever else came invited and uninvited to that house.
It was a big gathering of more than a dozen women. They took one look at me appraising me from
head to toe. An awkward adolescent,
wearing a silk pavadai – sattai in
the sweltering summer heat , I was getting very irritable perhaps with all that
attention. The humidity made me sweat and I was feeling sticky and uneasy.
A matronly aunt double the size of a bison walked in with a
loud boisterous gait about her. When Grandma introduced me to her, she pinched
my pimple laden cheeks loudly claiming that I looked an exact copy of my father. That flattered Grandma to no end. She then sat down in the heavy cushioned
mattress, put on her reading glasses and opened up a note book. One by one all
the women came to her and handed over wads of five rupee and ten rupee notes
from underneath their blouses . Korattur
Periamma’s newly- wed dainty
daughter in law brought in a tray filled with tumblers of filter coffee and
behind her came trailing the elder daughter-in-law with plates full of Kaththirikkai
Bajji ( thinly- sliced-brinjal- fritters-fried-in-oil).
We all ate merrily while the women exchanged gossip and news
about other people. I gathered some
breaking news on contemporary matters. I learned facts like Dharmambal ’s
daughter was pregnant and that Kamalam mami’s daughter –in –law was a complete dud. Poor Girija’s
second son had a third daughter in a row. Someone remarked that it served her well and
this would tone down her haughtiness in the year’s to come. Rajalakshmi was complaining how her daughter-in-law had the audacity to
suggest moving out of the joint family and how she had managed to get her son
to shut her up by refusing that promotion which his bank has offered him on the
condition that he accept a transfer to a different city.
A general consensus was passed about the daughter’s-in-law of their
generation and their utter lack of
adjustment into living in joint families. They compared the treatment they were
meted out by their husband’s and mother-in-law’s and how they had still survived it all. They unanimously
agreed that the girls of the future generation would have it much better than
their’s and yet they were all so obnoxious and self centered.
They discussed about the latest MGR- Jayalalitha blockbuster
. Of particular mention was Jayalalitha’s
audaciously scandalous outfits that she wears in the dream song and dance sequence in that movie. By the end of the day I knew the entire story
of how the rich hero (MGR) in search of that perfect homely wife manages to
tone down the completely spoilt and haughty heroine ( Jayalalitha) who at the end of the movie falls
at his feet draped in a silk saree,with lush long hair with jasmine flowers, and begs
him to forgive her and marry her.
Grandma alone had not
yet caught up on that movie. She instantly planned to take us all the next Friday to
watch that movie at the Kamadhenu theatre in Mylapore.
The matronly woman now calls for attention and all the commotion and chit-chat comes to a close. The two daughter-in-laws emerge from the kitchen and
collect the empty tiffin plates and coffee tumblers and disappear back into the
kitchen.
A copper vessel is
brought along and chits with names of all the women who had paid up their
monthly ‘Cheettu money’ is put into the copper vessel. They look out for a neutral party with no skin in the game to pick up a chit from the
copper vessel.
The previous month it was Kamala Mami’s grandson who had picked up the
chit. This time around I was the obvious
choice. I was summoned to pick up the chit from the copper vessel in which all
the chits were mixed up.
I felt uneasy
and was beginning to have stomach cramps. I was feeling bored,
irritated, clammed up and completely out
of place in that claustrophobic environment of elderly women. I was angry with grandma to have got
me there in the first place. I
grudgingly got up, picked up the chit and gave it to the matronly woman in
orange and green nine-yard silk saree and walked out of the room to the
backyard to use the wash room.
When I came back the entire room was jubilant. Grandma hugged me and kissed both my
cheeks. Apparently I had picked up her
name from the copper vessel. Today she
would get a princely sum of three hundred rupees.
Grandma was part of the ‘Cheettu’
group. Every month they all collected
the savings from their ‘Anjaraipetti’ - the five spice box and their version of of the modern day kitty party which assembled at somebody's house every month. The one whose name was picked up from the copper vessel got instant
credit which she could use it at her
will. Of-course they would all continue to remit the small savings every month
when they gathered, but this was like an
advance for all the savings they remit in the next few months.
This month Grandma got lucky and she attributed her luck to
me, her favorite granddaughter.
I was not in any mood
to share her jubilation. I wanted to weep and cry aloud. But I did not want to make a big show in
front of the women. I waited patiently till
the party was over. Grandma took leave and we once again boarded the Pista Green Pallavan transport
corporation bus to Mylapore.
I sat at the window seat and started silently weeping. Grandma asked me if anything was wrong. I refused to talk to her and kept
weeping. We reached the Luz corner where
we had to get down to walk another 10 minutes to reach home.
It was then that Grandma noticed and asked me . I was
confused, ashamed and shocked. I then burst into tears and admitted to confirm
her doubt. Much to my surprise, she hugged me tight
and shed happy tears right there at the bus stop.
We did not go home from there. She took me straight to the jeweller’s shop .
Grandma pulled out the wads of five and ten rupee notes
from her bosom, beneath her blouse and brought me those pretty gold ear studs.
The star shaped ones with a blue stone fitted at the center.
Modi-ji,
Millions of women across India save up small change that
they manage to salvage after buying groceries vegetables, school uniforms and other day to day shopping from the money
that their husbands , fathers or brothers give them from time to time.
In their Anjarai petti, in the fading old wedding trousseau , inside the Tamarind jars, inside shoe
boxes, tucked inside the inner lining of their old blouses, wrapped around empty plastic packets that once contained sanitary
napkins and many other such inconspicuous nooks and corners lie saved up a lot of
cash and kind that may not necessarily
be branded as ‘black money’ .
It is the hard gained
earnings of thrifty women who due to social constraints cannot go out and earn their own money. It is their small way of feeling economically
independent and empowered by spending the money in the way they want, without feeling
constrained by whether their men would approve or not.
‘It is a woman thing in India’, I tell Jo.
I then go on and tell
her about this bold move that our Prime
minister had announced the day before by
declaring 500 and 1000 rupee notes as invalid in a drive to eradicate black money.
She was worried because she had exchanged her dollars for
Rupees of 500 and 1000 rupee notes just a few days earlier when she landed in
India. She wanted to shop not in the
malls but in the local city market , buying trinkets and bric-a-brac for her
family and friends as Christmas presents.
All in cash.
She did not want to spend it on the over- priced shops in
the five star hotel or out there in the shopping malls, when she very well knew
she could get a good bargain in commercial street for much the same quality.
‘All women like a good bargain she said. We all like to save up and then go on a guilt-free spending spree. It is a woman thing, not just in India, but the world over', Jo says.
I reflect and I agree with her.
And here I must confess:
I have three piggy banks at home.
Number One – is a green- goal piggy bank. Everytime I take a public transport, sell off
old plastic and newspapers, I put in the money saved into that piggy bank. That one is safe because it contains lots of coins and 50 and 100 rupee notes. Oh well .. not so safe in these days.
The second one is for guilt free shopping. Everytime I withdraw cash, about 10-20% goes into this piggy bank. The second one is tucked
deep inside my wardrobe in a plastic purse amidst winter clothes which I seldom use.
In a patriarchial
society like ours women have some little
advantages. Every year brothers gift
their sisters some money during festivals.
Fathers also give their daughters money during Diwali and Pongal.
In Grandma’s days everytime a brother or father or any male
member came visiting from her maternal
home, they would surreptiously gift the woman of the house some money before leaving. All this money found its way under the ‘anjarai petti’ - the spice box or the tamarind jars and then moved up the investment value chain by way of ‘cheettu’ schemes.
When I grew up, went abroad and was gainfully employed, I would
give grandma a wadful of notes freshly drawn from the nearest ATM whenever I went to visit her. Perhaps this was the pay back for the ‘kuchchi ice creams’ and the pretty
gold ear studs with blue stones that she impulsively brought for me at the jeweller’s
at the Luz coner in Mylapore all those years ago.
Modi-ji,
I guess you do not know much about women. Not that other men do, so I cannot not blame you J .
I guess you do not know much about women. Not that other men do, so I cannot not blame you J .
It is a learned behaviour from centuries of social
conditioning in a patriarchal setup .
Let me explain this to you.
Many middle class women of my generation have by and large
attained economic independence. They can
afford to take charge of their own finances if they wish to.
And yet many women
like me, continue to hoard piggy banks full of cash under various guises to indulge in charity,
guilt-free-shopping and other unmentionable reasons.
Modi-ji, you and your men are now asking us all to come out
of our socially learned habits and declare our piggy banks. We are not real
estate dealers, bookies betting on Clinton Vs Trump election results or politicians
fighting elections.
We are women hard wired with habits of thrift who seek
delayed gratification of our petty finances .
Mine alone amounts to 18,500 at this point in time. They are
all in denominations of 500 and 1000.
Is this the end of ‘Anjarai
petti’ economy ?
Aiyo, ( no more in Italics) Aiyoh ... how I secretly enjoyed counting those 500 and 1000 rupee notes over and over again
in the pretext of cleaning my wardrobe … pchch… L
This post was Inspired by Sivakami Patti who literally came out of the closet today and declared ...
that she had 40,000 tucked in her closet and needed help ...
Awesome J Go...loved ur style of writing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Trupti ... we must catch up sometime...
ReplyDeleteThank you for this glimpse into your life. Lots of detail. And, now you have me craving ice cream.
ReplyDeleteenjoyed your sharing. easy flowing style. it rekindled my memories too. tks.
ReplyDeleteYou totally rekindled my Madras days.. they are etched forever and what a child hold it indeed was.. lovely render jayanthi..
ReplyDeleteYou totally rekindled my Madras days.. they are etched forever and what a child hold it indeed was.. lovely render jayanthi..
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this post. I still have a few little jars with coins and a purse with notes. Luckily my govt hasn't demonitised. Feel for those who stand to lose their hard earned piggy bank savings.
ReplyDeleteLove it..the pickle jars and 10-paise coins bring my childhood back!
ReplyDeleteA warm feeling after reading ur write up☺️thanks
ReplyDelete